the ocean said what are you trying to find I don't care I'm not kind

I'm having my regularly scheduled first-week-of-class panic attacks, which are always fun. By which I mean NOT FUN AT ALL THANKS. Seriously, people, a well-organized syllabus goes a long, long way towards earning your class Fiona-Approved Awesome status. A poorly-organized syllabus? Goes on your permanent record. And not in a good way.

And now, in the category of Things That Are More Fun Than Bad Syllabi:

A few weeks ago I went downtown in a futile attempt to buy Really Cool rain boots. I tried Macy’s first, and they had about five styles, three of which were really ugly, one of which was boring, and one of which would be Really Cool if it wasn’t an ugly combination of grey and yellow that would look good on a Kill Bill DVD cover but nowhere else. Also there were apparently no salespeople, anywhere, and the one I did spot kept running around avoiding me. Color me super-unimpressed, Macy’s.

Some days I really miss New York. That city has shoe stores.

So, I still don't have any rain boots. But judging from the drowned sidewalks yesterday, I'm gonna need 'em, and soon. Time for Plan B. (Hint: there is no plan B.)


And in the category of Things That Are More Fun Than Bad Syllabi And Also, Are Actually Fun:

Shortly before the rain boots fiasco, I went to the aquarium and waved my student ID card around importantly. I haven't been to an aquarium in years, and it was really cool. There were cute penguins! Lots of little tanks with little fish and zillions of anemones and things! Lungfish! LUNGFISH ARE AWESOME, YOU GUYS. Electric eels with an informative and noisy Zap-o-meter across from the tidepool petting zoo. Lovely delicate jellyfish things lit from below, all tendrilly and glowing. Seadragons (like seahorses, but even cooler). And at the top of the central fake coral reef, I made a friend.

ME: Hey there, shark.
SHARK: 'Sup.
ME: I've dissected your species, you know.
SHARK: ...I am cute?
ME: You're kind of annoying, is what you are.
SHARK: I SWIM AROUND AND AROUND FRANTICALLY.
ME: Okay, okay, you're cute!
SHARK: *swimswimswim* *splashsplashsplash* *SWIM SPLOOSH SPLASH*
ME: Geez. Total attention whore.

So, there you go. Some people attract cute twittery birds or useful monkeys or majestical mystic deer or whatever as their Friendly Questside Animal Companions. I, apparently, attract vain and splooshy sharks.

Could be worse, I guess-- Hey HEY HEY that crackling sound better not be my drying-on-the-heater socks catching on fire!

the ocean said what are you trying to find I don't care I'm not kind

I'm having my regularly scheduled first-week-of-class panic attacks, which are always fun. By which I mean NOT FUN AT ALL THANKS. Seriously, people, a well-organized syllabus goes a long, long way towards earning your class Fiona-Approved Awesome status. A poorly-organized syllabus? Goes on your permanent record. And not in a good way.

And now, in the category of Things That Are More Fun Than Bad Syllabi:

A few weeks ago I went downtown in a futile attempt to buy Really Cool rain boots. I tried Macy’s first, and they had about five styles, three of which were really ugly, one of which was boring, and one of which would be Really Cool if it wasn’t an ugly combination of grey and yellow that would look good on a Kill Bill DVD cover but nowhere else. Also there were apparently no salespeople, anywhere, and the one I did spot kept running around avoiding me. Color me super-unimpressed, Macy’s.

Some days I really miss New York. That city has shoe stores.

So, I still don't have any rain boots. But judging from the drowned sidewalks yesterday, I'm gonna need 'em, and soon. Time for Plan B. (Hint: there is no plan B.)


And in the category of Things That Are More Fun Than Bad Syllabi And Also, Are Actually Fun:

Shortly before the rain boots fiasco, I went to the aquarium and waved my student ID card around importantly. I haven't been to an aquarium in years, and it was really cool. There were cute penguins! Lots of little tanks with little fish and zillions of anemones and things! Lungfish! LUNGFISH ARE AWESOME, YOU GUYS. Electric eels with an informative and noisy Zap-o-meter across from the tidepool petting zoo. Lovely delicate jellyfish things lit from below, all tendrilly and glowing. Seadragons (like seahorses, but even cooler). And at the top of the central fake coral reef, I made a friend.

ME: Hey there, shark.
SHARK: 'Sup.
ME: I've dissected your species, you know.
SHARK: ...I am cute?
ME: You're kind of annoying, is what you are.
SHARK: I SWIM AROUND AND AROUND FRANTICALLY.
ME: Okay, okay, you're cute!
SHARK: *swimswimswim* *splashsplashsplash* *SWIM SPLOOSH SPLASH*
ME: Geez. Total attention whore.

So, there you go. Some people attract cute twittery birds or useful monkeys or majestical mystic deer or whatever as their Friendly Questside Animal Companions. I, apparently, attract vain and splooshy sharks.

Could be worse, I guess-- Hey HEY HEY that crackling sound better not be my drying-on-the-heater socks catching on fire!