Japan thinks I'm secretly French too (Part III)

Have you read The Tough Guide to Fantasyland? You should read The Tough Guide to Fantasyland. It is hysterical and generally accurate about a number of fantasy cliches, and also by Dianna Wynne Jones, which should sell you on it even if you somehow passed up “hysterical” and “generally accurate.”

It also contains a few useful observations about travel, be it in Fantasyland or otherwise. For example, The Tough Guide to Fantasyland has this to say about WEATHER:

WEATHER is always wrong for what you are doing at the time. It varies from heat/drought if you must travel quickly, to heavy rain if you need just to travel. If you need to sleep rough, there is always a frost; invariably, if you have to cross MOUNTAINS, there will be a thunderstorm or a blizzard. Some of the reason for this is that, despite obvious drawbacks, the Management nearly always arranges for Tours to set out in late autumn or early winter... The rest is natural perversity.

It has this to say about BATHS:

BATH is something all Tourists crave for quite soon. After very few days of slogging along in all weathers and sleeping in your clothes, you will be ready to kill for a Bath. You will crave to wash your hair. The Management is reasonable on this issue. Before long, you will find either a deep POOL in a RIVER of icy water ... or an INN with a heated bathhouse.

And finally, on the subject of BIRDS:

There are remarkably few Birds in Fantasyland, either in WOODS or on moorland. The reason is probably that, when any bird is seen, if is promptly shot by a Tourist desperate for something else to eat besides STEW.

( No tour of Fantasyland is complete without one! )

Japan thinks I'm secretly French too (Part III)

Have you read The Tough Guide to Fantasyland? You should read The Tough Guide to Fantasyland. It is hysterical and generally accurate about a number of fantasy cliches, and also by Dianna Wynne Jones, which should sell you on it even if you somehow passed up “hysterical” and “generally accurate.”

It also contains a few useful observations about travel, be it in Fantasyland or otherwise. For example, The Tough Guide to Fantasyland has this to say about WEATHER:

WEATHER is always wrong for what you are doing at the time. It varies from heat/drought if you must travel quickly, to heavy rain if you need just to travel. If you need to sleep rough, there is always a frost; invariably, if you have to cross MOUNTAINS, there will be a thunderstorm or a blizzard. Some of the reason for this is that, despite obvious drawbacks, the Management nearly always arranges for Tours to set out in late autumn or early winter... The rest is natural perversity.

It has this to say about BATHS:

BATH is something all Tourists crave for quite soon. After very few days of slogging along in all weathers and sleeping in your clothes, you will be ready to kill for a Bath. You will crave to wash your hair. The Management is reasonable on this issue. Before long, you will find either a deep POOL in a RIVER of icy water ... or an INN with a heated bathhouse.

And finally, on the subject of BIRDS:

There are remarkably few Birds in Fantasyland, either in WOODS or on moorland. The reason is probably that, when any bird is seen, if is promptly shot by a Tourist desperate for something else to eat besides STEW.

( No tour of Fantasyland is complete without one! )