The angsty post

[timeripple]

Back from spring break with the parents, and a bit at loose ends. Scheduling fun as always. What’s even more fun is fending off the parents’ attempts to get me to do something with my life. I think part of my problem is that as a child, I never envisioned myself as being grown-up, and even in college I couldn’t form clear possibilities about the future, immediate or distant. My dad thinks that grad school would be an excellent way of passing a few years, just to be doing something. Every single professor I’ve talked to says the opposite. He says that I should get a PhD in something or other and then write for the New York Times. What he doesn’t seem to grasp is that I have had it with academia, at least for now. I couldn’t bear to put all my time and energy into something if my heart wasn’t in it. It’s hard enough right now, when I’m taking easy classes and nobody expects anything of me. Grad school would be hell. The brain and heart are not wholly unconnected, you know? Biologically or otherwise.

My mother, having once heard me express a vague interest in publishing, has taken to ordering books with titles like “Careers for Bookworms” and “Careers in Publishing: How To Get Started” from Amazon.

I’m not sure which I find more infuriating.